Sweet Little Lies
by magicsunbeam
Summary: Jack wakes to find himself home, with Sara and Charlie. Can it be true, or is it just a sweet little lie?


Title: Sweet Little Lies.  
  
Author: Magicsunbeam  
  
Email: magicsunbeam@ntlworld.com  
  
Category: Angst - pure and simple angst.  
  
Pairing: Jack and Sara  
  
Rating: G  
  
Season/sequel: Anytime after Enemies, opening episode for season 5. Spoilers: Solitudes, Children of The Gods, The Light, A Matter of Time, The Enemy Within, Need and Exodus.  
  
Summary: Ahh, Gads. I don't know what to tell you. If you like Jack/Sara and Charlie stories, then this is for you.  
  
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property  
  
of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions; all  
  
the powers that be, not me; This story is for entertainment purposes only  
  
and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement intended. The story  
  
is the property of the author and may not be posted without the author's  
  
consent.  
  
Authors Notes: This has been ongoing for what seems like for*ever*. Big Thanx to `Grue` and `Smiler` for pushing me to finish it. Pushing and pushing and pushing.vbg Thanx also to Tiddy for the beta-ing, I appreciate your honesty, as always. The end is not really the end, if you don't want it to be. There is LOADS to build on, sooooo if anyone would like a crack at what comes next, please do. pretty please. J. (  
  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
When I woke, I have to say I was clueless. Clueless to where I was, and how the hell I'd got there. As my senses returned, I looked around the room and found I was laid out on a couch, under a huge afghan. I recognised it as being the one Sara's mom had made for her, when she was little.  
  
The mistake I made was to move. As I did so, white-hot pain shot through my shoulder and I let out in involuntary gasp.  
  
`Jeez!! What the hell is that? ` I thought to myself, as the room began to spin out of control. I clamped my eyes shut and offered up a prayer to anyone who was listening, to make it stop.  
  
I became aware of hands taking mine, and a concerned voice broke through my concentration.  
  
"Jack. Are you okay?"  
  
Sara.  
  
Holding out for a few more seconds till the pain subsided, I eventually opened my eyes. The room was no longer spinning - much to the relief of my stomach. I found Sara on her knees in front of me, concern etched deep into her features.  
  
I hate it when she gets that worried look. It ages her beautiful face. I gave her my best, `I'm fine` grin, to try and reassure her, but she wasn't buying it.  
  
"Do you need something for the pain?" she asked. "It's been a while since you took anything."  
  
"It is?" I asked, puzzled.  
  
"I hope you're not going to play coy with me, Flyboy. You know what the doctor said. The infection is a bad one - no skipping pills."  
  
For the life of me, I couldn't remember getting an injury. When the hell did that happen?  
  
"Jack?"  
  
Dragged from my reverie, I saw the concern in Sara's eyes again and gave her a genuine smile.  
  
"No pills, I'm okay. I just moved too quickly." I lied. "Coffee would be good though, oh and maybe the use of your bathroom."  
  
She gave me funny little smile. "*My* bathroom, huh?"  
  
Holding out her hand, she helped me get to my feet, before disappearing into the kitchen. I gingerly made my way across the floor and just as I was getting to the stairs, I heard the backdoor open and someone come in. Then, I heard Sara say:  
  
"Oh no, Mister. Not on my clean floor. Get those sneakers off and leave them by the door."  
  
For some reason, the reply she got made my blood run cold.  
  
"Aww, Mom!"  
  
I was literally frozen to the spot. I had no idea why I was so shocked, it was just Charlie coming home from practice or somewhere. What the hell was wrong with me?  
  
It seemed like an eternity but finally, my brain dared my feet to move. I hesitantly reached for the kitchen door. As I did so, it swung open and Charlie stood before me.  
  
A big grin split his face when he saw me. "Hey Dad!"  
  
Those two small words echoed in my brain like canon fire. Suddenly the room was spinning again and I thought I could hear the ocean. Big black dots danced before my eyes and I felt my knees beginning to give way. As I slid gracelessly to the floor, the last thing I heard was his frightened voice.  
  
"Dad? MOM!!"  
  
-----------------------------------  
  
*** I was cold, but not your ordinary kind of cold. This was a bone numbing, right to the very core, kind of cold. I was having difficulty breathing too. Every time I sucked in some air, my chest felt as if it was on fire. It was less painful to take shallow breaths, but that scared Carter even more. She was already having to deal with a whole heap of crap, trying to get the DHD out of deep freeze. I didn't want to distract her from that, so I grinned and scowled and was sardonic in, what I hoped were the right places.  
  
Carter tried - bless her cute blonde head - she really tried. In the end though, there was nothing more she could do. The only option left was to make her go to the surface. To try and pin point where we were and to go for help. She didn't like the idea one bit. She wanted to take me too, but knew that was out of the question. I had to plead with her to leave me, to go and try to save herself. I was secretly happy that she wanted to stay. For me, it was a sure sign I was doing something right as a leader, but I was more relieved that she finally took the order and headed for the surface.  
  
So there I was, alone in the biggest freezer in God knows what universe. Fatigue was now out-ranking the cold and I knew I didn't have much longer. I felt a body huddle in beside me, but wasn't sure who it was. Too tired to open my eyes, my fuzzy brain tried to work it out. Couldn't be Carter, she was gone and Daniel and Teal'c were back at the SGC.  
  
My nostrils were invaded by a slightly scenty smell. A woman's smell. It could only be one person.  
  
The freezing air stung the back of my throat as I whispered her name.  
  
"Sara?"****  
  
**** "Sha`re."  
  
It was a barely audible whisper. Full of despair and sadness.  
  
I felt, rather than saw Daniel lunge forward. Before I could do anything, he was gone. Running toward Sha`re, calling her name, taking no heed of her cold, emotionless eyes. He managed to get within a few feet of her, when suddenly those eyes took on a ghostly glow. Daniel stumbled to a stop. Then suddenly, he was slowly moving closer.  
  
"Sha`re, it's me!"  
  
I saw the man with Sha`re, raise his hand. I recognised the device strapped to it and began to lift my rifle. The device flared orange and suddenly, Daniel was flying across the room, coming to an abrupt halt as he slammed into the floor. Seeing my rifle, Sha`re stepped between me and the man, making me hesitate just long enough to know it was the wrong choice.  
  
`Aww crap. ` I thought to myself, as my vision exploded into a million stars and the lights went out. ****  
  
**** I was in the gate room, engaged in trivial chat with Carter. Actually, Carter was about to catch me out.  
  
I kept my eyes on the gate, like it was *the* most fascinating thing in the universe. She wasn't buying it though.  
  
"That was the bet?" she asked. " Whether or not I'd go? Don't you have anything better to do?"  
  
I was about to deny all, when movement behind her caught my eye. Momentarily frozen, I watched in shock, as an airman raced off up the ramp toward the gate.  
  
"BARBER!" I yelled, knowing already that I was too late.  
  
Barber ran full tilt into the plumb of particles and disintegrated without trace. ****  
  
****Somewhere far away, I could hear a noise. A strange tinkling noise - like a wind chime. I stretched my head back to look toward the control room. I could see Carter and Teal'c. Carter was yelling something, but she was too far away for her voice to be heard. Just then I saw a flash of light, followed by another and another. It took a moment for my brain to register what it was seeing. I yelled at Frank and tried to ball myself up, to protect myself from the glittering shards of glass that were heading our way.  
  
When they hit, it was like being stung by a million bees.  
  
Slowly.  
  
All we could do was hang on, as they floated serenely by. The Iris started to creak and moan, I watched with morbid fascination, as the G forces sucked it into the swirling hole. Hanging there by a thread, literally, I could feel the energy that was radiating from it. My head was thudding, my body felt like lead as the damned hole tried to drag me toward the gate.  
  
I looked across at Frank, noting his grim expression. He wasn't liking this one little bit.  
  
Well guess what Franky Boy - ditto.  
  
It was only when Frank suddenly dropped toward the hole, that we realised we hadn't gotten away scott free, with the glass shower. Frank's harness had been sliced and now, the force of the hole was dragging him down. I grabbed his arm and desperately tried to hold onto him. The forces were too strong and to my horror, my old friend was sucked into the black heart. ****  
  
****I ran into the control room and immediately saw them in the gate room below. As big as he was, Teal'c was having trouble hanging onto Kawalsky. Obviously the damn snake had added extra strength, cause there was no way the *real* Kawalsky would have been a match for the Jaffa.  
  
They were on the ramp, just in front of the already activated gate. The Goa`uld inside my friend was obviously a determined soul, and was doing it's damnedest to get away. Teal'c however, was equally determined and each was struggling to out manoeuvre the other.  
  
They were now at the gate entrance. Teal'c had control and was holding Kawalsky back, as he tried desperately to get into the event horizon. Seeing an opportunity, I yelled at Teal'c to hold him over the gate. Teal'c immediately picked up on my intentions and managed to do as I asked.  
  
"God forgive me, Charlie." I muttered as I de-activated the star gate, in turn closing the iris, killing the snake - and my friend. ****  
  
**** It was the most perfect of days.  
  
The sun was shining in a clear blue sky, I had got away from work early and had planned a surprise evening out, just me and Sara and Charlie. I was sat in my garden with the woman I loved, completely at peace with the world. The next second, that peace was shattered into a million tiny bits, as the sound of a single gunshot ripped through the afternoon air.  
  
I looked up at the house, panic gripping me. Then I was running, vaguely aware of Sara screaming Charlie's name.  
  
I found Charlie on his bedroom floor, blood oozing through his T-shirt. I could see his eyes were fixed and staring.  
  
"Oh Jesus - please, no. Please." I muttered, scrambling for a pulse and not finding one. A huge part of me already knew, but the little part that refused to believe, had me lift him into my arms and run for the car.  
  
"Hang on, Charlie. Please, just hang on."****  
  
----------------------------------  
  
"CHARLIE!"  
  
I woke up in a panic, my heart pounding in my ears like a drum. It took me a couple of seconds to realise the voice yelling for Charlie, was mine.  
  
I tried to sit up, only to have a hand placed on my chest, holding me down. Startled, I turned my head and looked straight into Sara's worried eyes.  
  
"Take it easy, Jack. It's okay." She tried to assure me.  
  
I looked round wildly. "Charlie. Where is he?" I could feel myself rapidly losing control. "Is he okay? Was I dreaming?"  
  
Sara was clearly both puzzled and worried.  
  
"It's okay, Jack. Charlie's here."  
  
I followed her eyes to the bedroom door, and I saw him. Charlie was there, plain as you like - alive. Sara motioned for him to step forward, which he did, albeit reluctantly. I could see the confusion and fear in his eyes and I knew I was scaring the Kahoobies out of him.  
  
Sara put a hand to my forehead. "Jack, you've been sick. You were shot, do you remember? Frank found you and got you home. Your shoulder became infected and you got sick, but it's okay now. Everything's okay."  
  
It sounded to me like Sara was trying to convince herself about that, as much as me. I was confused over the damned dream. It seemed so real. I could still see his pale face, his dead, staring eyes. I could smell the blood on his clothes.  
  
I could see Charlie shaking a little, as I tried to pull my thoughts together.  
  
"I'm sorry, Charlie. I didn't mean to scare you." I said, slowly reaching out a hand. When he took it, it felt real. Like a normal hand. Warm and soft.  
  
Alive.  
  
Charlie was watching me closely, less afraid now and more curious, he asked:  
  
"Dad, are you okay?"  
  
I hesitated for a moment then, reached out my arms and my son fell into them. I held on for dear life. It had all been a dream, a damned nightmare. He was okay. He was here and he was okay.  
  
It was then that I heard it for the first time. A tiny little voice in the back of my mind.  
  
` Something's wrong, Jack. Something is *very* wrong. `  
  
  
  
Eventually, I discovered Mike was around somewhere and that he had helped Sara get me upstairs and into bed. He then persuaded Charlie to go off for a walk with him, so Mom and Dad could talk.  
  
Sara insisted I stay in bed for the afternoon and allow her to fuss.  
  
"You frightened Charlie half to death, passing out like that. I want you to relax, get some rest." She told me.  
  
Rest. That would be novel. How could I rest, with the thoughts I had running round in my brain?  
  
Sitting on the edge of the bed watching closely, she saw right through me - as usual.  
  
"You want to talk about it?" She asked casually, taking my hand in hers.  
  
I'm not one for loading my baggage onto people, not even Sara. Yet somehow, this seemed different. It was like I *had* to tell her, like she should know. After all, it's not everyday you dream about your kid shooting himself.  
  
So I did.  
  
I told her everything. I told her about the snatches of dreams I had about people I'd never met. I had no idea who Carter or Daniel were, but they seemed so real. Like I *should* have known them. I told her of losing Kawalsky and Frank.  
  
She cried when I told her about Charlie's accident.  
  
Wrapping her arms around me she told me:  
  
"They were dreams, Jack. Bad dreams brought on by infection and fever. I can see how real they were for you, but you're back now. Back with us, where you belong. Charlie is safe. Frank is fine. Charlie Kawalsky is coming over for a barbeque tomorrow. He's bringing a girl to meet us, remember? Everything is okay, you have to trust me."  
  
Everything wasn't okay. I remembered nothing of a barbeque and sure as hell nothing about a girl. For cryin` out loud, when had Kawalsky found time for a girl?  
  
Sara must have seen the confusion in my face.  
  
"Jack, it doesn't matter now. The doctor said it may be a while, but it'll come back to you, you just need to rest. He says you'll be fine. Why don't you try and get some sleep? I can find something to do and we can talk some more when you wake up. Okay?"  
  
I was about to argue, when I realised I was suddenly very weary. I felt like a hundred years old - where had I felt that before?  
  
"Sure," I agreed. "Wake me when Charlie gets home?"  
  
My eyes were already closed but I could hear the smile, as Sara promised she would.  
  
As I drifted off, a thought suddenly struck me.  
  
Sara had said the doctor had said I'd fine. "He says you'll be fine."  
  
*He*?  
  
The last image that flitted through my brain, as I drifted off into oblivion was of a small, fiery woman. Short dark hair, a kind smile, but a don't-mess-with-me attitude. The words Napoleonic power monger sprang to mind.  
  
And the little voice in my head whispered on.  
  
  
  
The next time I woke up, I knew exactly where I was. To my surprise, I found Charlie curled up next to me on the bed, sound asleep.  
  
I closed my eyes and for a while lay there listening to the sounds around me. The birds twittering outside the window, Charlie's soft breathing, Sara moving around downstairs, humming `Daydream Believer`.  
  
I smiled to myself. Although she sang that song when we were together, it just seemed appropriate some how.  
  
Whoa! *When* we were together?  
  
That little voice piped up again.  
  
`Something is wrong here, Jacko. Charlie died. This is all wrong. `  
  
But how could it be wrong? Charlie was there, right beside me. Breathing, in, out, in, out.  
  
`Just be careful, Jack. Something is soooo wrong. `  
  
Sara's voice made me jump.  
  
"Hey guys, anyone interested in Mom's cooking tonight?"  
  
I opened my eyes to find her standing there, grinning like a Cheshire cat.  
  
"Tonight?" I asked. "What time is it?"  
  
"Don't sound so surprised, Flyboy. You slept the afternoon away, it's nearly 7.00. Now come on, both of you. Dad's waiting."  
  
I looked at Charlie, who was now awake and sitting beside me.  
  
"What do you say kiddo?" I asked.  
  
He grinned. "Let's go, Dad."  
  
  
  
All through dinner, I couldn't keep my eyes off Charlie. I knew I was staring and I knew I was worrying all of them because of it, but I couldn't help it. Mike tried valiantly to get a casual conversation going and we all tried to play along.  
  
We talked about hockey, work, cars, and school. On an ordinary day, in an ordinary world, it would have been an ordinary dinner. But despite what Sara and Mike told me, and despite the fact that Charlie was there before my eyes, this *wasn't* ordinary and the voice in my head kept on talking and it was getting louder and louder.  
  
As Sara cleared away the dinner plates, she smiled at me and asked if I was okay for the hundredth time. I told her yes, for the hundredth time and she smiled again.  
  
While Charlie took off upstairs to get ready for bed, Mike gave Sara a hand with the dishes. I tried to concentrate on something on T.V. but I could hear them arguing quietly.  
  
"Dad, he'll be fine. He's just tired. You heard what the Doctor said. It's a bad infection, he just needs time."  
  
"Well, I still don't like the idea of leaving you and Charlie alone tonight."  
  
"Oh for God sake, Dad! What do you think is going to happen? He's not going to murder us in our sleep!"  
  
Oops, watch it Mikey, she's getting mad.  
  
"Sara, I care about him too, but the man hardly knows if he's on his ass or his elbow. Who knows what's going through his mind? He's already told you, he thought Charlie was dead. Shot with his own gun!"  
  
The lack of argument from Sara at that statement shocked and disappointed me. Did she really consider me a threat?  
  
Finally she answered. "We'll be fine, Dad. Jack just needs to rest some more and everything will be back to normal."  
  
I heard Mike grunt, clearly not happy with Sara's insistence, but he let it go.  
  
At that point, I decided to go find Charlie.  
  
---------------  
  
Already changed into his PJ's, he was sat on his bedroom floor staring blankly at the catch glove in his hand. I stood in the doorway and watched him for a moment. He was totally unaware that I was there, and jumped like a cricket when I spoke.  
  
"Hey, kiddo. Whatcha doin`?"  
  
I saw the look in his eyes right away. It was the same look he got when he was embarrassed. When he thought he had done something so wrong, he wanted to crawl into a hole.  
  
I folded up my legs and carefully got down on the floor next to him.  
  
"S`up Charlie?"  
  
"Nothing." He said, continuing to study the glove.  
  
"Nothing, huh?" I repeated casually. "That glove looks mighty interesting. You'd think it was one of Daniel's rocks."  
  
My words trailed away, as I realised what I had said.  
  
Daniel's rocks, his artefacts, his work. If Daniel was a figment of my imagination, my dreams, then how the hell did that just come out so naturally?  
  
I was suddenly aware of Charlie's gaze.  
  
"Who's Daniel?" he asked.  
  
`Who the hell indeed? ` I thought to myself.  
  
Instead, I told him that Daniel was just someone I used to work with. He seemed to accept the answer. After all, his Dad worked with a lot of different people.  
  
Taking hold of the situation, I had Charlie move up into bed. Once he was settled, I sat down on the edge and noticed he still had that `look`.  
  
"What are you thinking about, Charlie?"  
  
He hesitated for a long time. I could almost hear the cogs going round in his brain as he struggled to find the words. When they finally did come, they shocked me.  
  
"You wouldn't hurt me and Mom, would you Dad?"  
  
Completely stunned, all I could do was sit there with my mouth open. Eventually I got my wits back.  
  
"Why would you think I'd hurt you Charlie?"  
  
Tears now pricked at his eyes, his bottom lip trembled. "I'm sorry, Dad. I know you wouldn't shoot me."  
  
"Shoot you!?" I repeated, shocked. Jeez, this was just getting better and better. "Charlie O'Neill, I *love* you. Why would I shoot you?"  
  
The tears were now rolling down his face.  
  
"I left my glove downstairs. I heard Mom and Grandpa."  
  
I moved quickly across the bed and pulled him into my arms. As I held him, I could hear the catches in his breath as he repeatedly told me he was sorry. Sorry for doubting me. I wanted so much to go downstairs and beat the crap out of Mike for causing those doubts, but Charlie needed me and so I stayed put.  
  
When he settled down enough to hear me, I told him he had misunderstood what he'd heard. That I had had a bad dream about him dying, but that's all it was. A dream.  
  
Eventually, the sobbing subsided and was replaced by deep, even breaths as he slipped into sleep. By the time I got downstairs, I found Mike had gone. Lucky guy.  
  
Sara was horrified when I told her what Charlie had heard. She was also embarrassed about my hearing the conversation too. I could forgive Mike his worries, if I were in his shoes I'd be worried too, but Charlie shouldn't have heard that.  
  
She promised to speak to him in the morning and to let Mike know what had happened.  
  
My anger now vented, we talked into the early hours. Eventually, Sara looked up at the clock and swore softly.  
  
"Hell. Look at the time. You need to rest and here's me keeping you up till all hours! Come on, Flyboy. Time for bed."  
  
She got to her feet, picked up the mugs from the table and headed off towards the kitchen.  
  
I moved to get up off the couch, only to be paralysed by stabbing pains shooting through that damned shoulder. Sara must have heard the grunt that pushed past my lips, because she put the coffee mugs down and was by my side again in a flash.  
  
"Jack? It's okay, just take it easy. Stay still for a minute." She studied me for a while then got to her feet. "I'm going to get you something for the pain, okay? Just stay there."  
  
`Stay here? ` I thought. ` I'm going nowhere. Shit, it hurts just to breathe. `  
  
I could feel the sweat hailing from me as the pain went on and on. I closed my eyes again as the room began to slowly spin.  
  
An eternity seemed to pass before at last, the pain began to subside and I dared to open my eyes. Sara was sat beside me, with that worried look on her face again. She held out a shaky hand and offered me two capsules.  
  
"Can you get these down you? They'll help."  
  
Gads, I *hate* taking medication. I like to know what's inside my body. However, at that point, I didn't see where I had a choice. I had to try and take control again. I didn't want to end up in a heap on Sara's - *our* carpet, and if taking control meant I had to take the damn pills, then so be it.  
  
I took the capsules from her, dry swallowed them and leaning back carefully, closed my eyes. I felt Sara take my hand, I heard her tell me it'd be okay and that I needed some sleep. All would be okay in the morning.  
  
It was some time before I had the strength to get my ass off the couch and allow myself to be led upstairs. I'll be honest and say I don't remember much after that. Except for feeling Sara's touch, the cool sheets against my still sweating body and hearing that damned voice singing in my head.  
  
`Something is wrong, Jack. Something's very wrong. `  
  
------------------------------ Next morning I woke feeling pretty okay. I could hear the birds singing outside the bedroom window, feel the sun on my back. When I opened my eyes - I found Charlie wedged in between Sara and me, snoring softly.  
  
I then noticed, that Sara was awake and watching me with a grin on her face.  
  
"What?" I whispered.  
  
She giggled. "He remind you of anyone?"  
  
"Yeah. His Mom." I said, getting ready to duck.  
  
She raised an eyebrow and grinned. "Oh yeah, smart ass? I was thinking he reminded me of his Dad."  
  
"What are you trying to say?" I asked, barely able to keep my face straight.  
  
"You snore."  
  
"I do *not* snore!" I huffed, in mock indignation.  
  
"Oh, yes." She grinned, nodding. "Yes, you do."  
  
"Do not."  
  
"Do too."  
  
"Not."  
  
"Do."  
  
"Not."  
  
"Do too."  
  
  
  
My head boomed as suddenly, I could see myself walking down a grey/green corridor. Dressed in fatigues, I had a rifle hoisted up on my shoulder and as we walked, I was arguing with the man I now recognised as Daniel.  
  
*** "Face it Daniel. You're a walking accident."  
  
"I am not!"  
  
"You are too. You're always running into trouble. Then there's the touching thing. Do you *have* to touch everything?"  
  
"I do not touch everything!"  
  
"Oh, yes. You *so* touch."  
  
"I do not."  
  
"Do too."  
  
"Do not."  
  
"Do."  
  
"Not."  
  
"Do."  
  
"Do not." ***  
  
"Jack?"  
  
I heard Sara's voice and realised my mind had wandered off.  
  
"Sorry," I grinned sheepishly, noticing that Charlie was now awake too. "That was just *so* déjà vu."  
  
"Yeah, right. I hear you, Flyboy." She laughed, flipping back the covers and getting out of bed. "Now, come on you two. We have guests at four o'clock and we have some work to do before then."  
  
Charlie and me exchanged looks, groaned in stereo and pulled the covers back over our heads.  
  
  
  
  
  
"They're here!" Charlie called excitedly, as he raced round into the yard. Kawalsky wandered in followed by a very pretty red head, who reminded me an awful lot of a cousin of mine.  
  
"Hey, Sara." Kawalsky called to Sara in the kitchen.  
  
Sara dropped what she was doing and came out into the yard.  
  
I looked up and nearly dropped a steak when I realised Kawalsky was actually blushing!  
  
"Guys," he mumbled. "I'd like you to meet Arnise. She's - erm - a good friend of mine."  
  
Sara, being slightly more tactful than me (believe it or not), shook the girl's hand, said how happy she was to meet a friend of Charlie's. I grinned, said "Hi" and made all the right noises. I think.  
  
The last we saw of them for a while was Sara leading Arnise away to the house, gabbling away like two long lost friends.  
  
Kawalsky strolled over, face beaming like a 100w bulb.  
  
"She's a pretty girl." I told him.  
  
"Isn't she?" He grinned back.  
  
"So what does she want with a dog like you?"  
  
Kawalsky snorted and held out grocery bag.  
  
"Here, Colonel. Brought some of that Irish muck you like so much." He said, with that lopsided grin of his.  
  
I threw him an O'Neill `Oh yes, funny man.` scowl.  
  
"Thanks." I said. Taking the beer from him and congratulating myself on not taking any pills that morning. "And since when did you call me Colonel on down time?"  
  
"K, Jack." He beamed. "Since we lost the rank crap for the night, let me ask you. Who showed you how to cook steaks? Those are just plain sad."  
  
-------------------  
  
It's true what they say about time flying when you're having fun. Good company tends to make that happen. We had a great time as the afternoon quickly ran away into evening. There was a lot of laughing and Tomfoolery, mostly between Charlie and Kawalsky who spent the time creating `who dares wins` situations.  
  
You know, I hadn't really noticed just how competitive my son was. He was *so* going for every win. Kinda reminded me of myself at his age. Of course for me, it was a pride thing. I had to constantly prove myself to my old man.  
  
It did get me wondering if Charlie thought he had to prove himself. Then I watched, as Kawalsky danced circles round him with the basketball. The kid was loving it. There was no resentment, no losing badly. I smiled with relief as I realised I had put no pressure on my son, not in the way my dad had heaped it on me.  
  
----------------------------------------------------  
  
After Charlie had said his goodnights and gone up to bed, the conversation turned to kids.  
  
"One day *I'm* going to have me a son, and I'm going to teach him how basket ball should be played." Kawalsky claimed.  
  
"Your *son*, huh?" Arnise rounded on him.  
  
Kawalsky cringed for a second and then decided to stand his ground like a man.  
  
"Yeah," he nodded confidently. "My son. He's going to play for The Kings someday."  
  
I almost choked on my `Irish muck.`  
  
"What? With you as his coach. Give me a break." I laughed.  
  
"Hey, I can show *you* a spin or two." He bit back.  
  
"You can't show me squat."  
  
"Oh yeah? I can run rings round you any day of the week, old man."  
  
I raised my eyebrows. "Old man?" I asked, disbelievingly. "Okay Bucko, so that was a challenge, right?"  
  
"You bet your ass it was, *Sir*."  
  
"Okay, *Major*. Let's take it onto the court."  
  
The women each let out a sigh.  
  
"Charlie, you did it again." Arnise groaned.  
  
Kawalsky turned to her. "Huh?"  
  
"You opened that big mouth of yours."  
  
Kawalsky stared at her in amazement. "Woman, you're meant to be in *my* corner here."  
  
"I'm not in anybody's corner. You darlin`, are on your own."  
  
I laughed, unable to show Kawalsky any sympathy.  
  
"Excuse me." Sara piped up. "Jack, aren't you forgetting something?"  
  
I looked at her blankly till she sighed and said: "Your shoulder?"  
  
"Ah. It's okay. Shoulder's fine." I told her.  
  
"Might have something to do with your being drunk?" she suggested.  
  
"Nope, it's fine." I wiggled my shoulder to prove it. I knew the reduced pain was probably due to the beer intake, but I wasn't going to admit that.  
  
Sara sighed. "Just be careful okay?"  
  
Grinning, I leaned forward and kissed her. "Okay."  
  
"Come on, old man." Kawalsky crowed.  
  
Oh yeah, I was *so* going to bust his ass.  
  
--------------------  
  
It's amazing how quickly mind blowing, white-hot pain can sober you up. What happened was an accident, pure and simple. I imagine the fact that we both had a skin full by that point, had something to do with how it happened.  
  
One minute I was reaching out for the ball, next thing I was flying through the air after Kawalsky sandbagged me. The flying part was fine, it was the landing in a sprawling heap on the hard drive that did the damage.  
  
As I lay there, sucking air in through my teeth, I heard Sara somewhere above me.  
  
"Holy Hannah, Jack!" Her concerned face appeared in my line of vision. "Didn't I say to be careful?"  
  
I couldn't answer her, pain having robbed me of my tongue. Although, it didn't rob me of that niggling little voice, coming to life once more.  
  
`Holy Hannah, Colonel - Holy Hannah. `  
  
------------  
  
I don't know how long I lay there, just concentrating on breathing. Eventually Sara and Kawalsky got me to my feet and we took the party inside.  
  
Sara gave me a couple of painkillers and an evil look. Aww crap, was I going to get it later. However, I took some comfort from the fact that, judging by Arnise's face, Kawalsky was also going to get it. Only *soooo* much worse than me.  
  
The sombre mood, coupled with happy pills floating around in my system, put paid to the evenings entertainment. I still managed a grin a short time later, when Arnise practically dragged Kawalsky to his feet and made their excuses.  
  
Oh boy, to be a fly on their wall tonight!  
  
My Nan always said: "Never gloat, Sugarplum. Fate always finds a way of creeping up behind you and biting you in the ass."  
  
Should have listened to her too, because Sara practically nagged my ears off, going upstairs.  
  
As I found a comfortable position in bed, I was too far gone to fight the fatigue and allowed my eyes to slip shut. Just before they closed, for one weird moment, I thought I saw Carter's face. She was saying something, but I couldn't hear what.  
  
`You're drunk, O'Neill.` I told myself. Knowing I didn't have the strength to open my eyes again, I drifted off in the dark.  
  
----------------------  
  
**** As I stared down the barrel of the gun being waved precariously in my face, I thought to myself, `Oh God, please don't let my life end like this. ` I had always thought I would go in the middle of some honkin` battle, hopefully taking a whole bushel full of Snakeheads with me. Instead, here I was in a dark broom cupboard, in the guts of a mountain, trying to talk my best friend out of blowing my brains off the wall.  
  
"What do you want to do, Daniel? You want to kill me?"  
  
His eye's clouded with confusion, then shock at the idea of it. I saw my opportunity and carried on talking.  
  
"Oh God, look at you. I know what this is. I know what it's like. We can get through it."  
  
As a million kinds of fear crossed his face, I thought for a second I had pushed too hard. And that maybe, he would pull the trigger.  
  
Instead, he broke down and cried.  
  
I cautiously waited for a second more, then as the gun drooped down, I made my move. Taking it from him and setting it down on the floor, I scooted up close and pulled him into a hug.  
  
You'd think having a gun taken out of your face would take away the fear, but it didn't. Yeah, the personal danger had passed, but I was still afraid for him. Afraid for my friend - and his sanity.  
  
As I gently rocked him, I thanked God. Not only for seeing to it, that I didn't die in a damn broom cupboard, but for sparing Daniel the unbearable guilt I *know* he'd have suffered, had he pulled that trigger. ****  
  
**** "Pull up, Teal'c - Teal'c, pull up!"  
  
Aww crap. As soon as the ship in front of us began to rip into pieces, I knew we were in serious shit. Closing my eyes against the white-hot wall of fire and debris that swung out towards us, I made the call to Jacob.  
  
"Mayday! Mayday! We are *so* goin` in!"  
  
The blast from the disintegrating ship knocked us up, spinning the glider like a windmill in a hurricane. Credit to Teal'c. That guy flies a mean glider. It took him a couple of hairy moments, but he got things back in line. Well - as best as he could considering the non-operational engines, the bust navigational systems and that he had a *very* irate CO riding shotgun, demanding to know what was happening.  
  
Passing into the planet's atmosphere wasn't too bad, all Teal'c had to do was bring us to a stop. Hopefully in one piece. I could see over Teal'c's shoulder and wished I'd kept my eyes shut, as the ground swelled up to meet us at frightening velocity.  
  
I was vaguely aware of Teal'c's voice above the screaming of the ship, as we plunged closer to the desert floor.  
  
"O'Neill, you must brace yourself!" he shouted. "We are - going in!"  
  
The ship began to buckle and swerve as Teal'c finally lost control and suddenly, I became aware of the huge sand dune standing in our path.  
  
My last thought as we ploughed into it was: "Aww, crap."  
  
-----------------------  
  
I received a rude awakening, as Charlie landed on the bed in an excited heap.  
  
"Come *on* Dad!" he cried.  
  
I opened my eyes to a headache. Suppose it's what you get for downing six packs at an excessive rate.  
  
"Charlie. W`time is it?"  
  
"I don't know - around seven."  
  
Leaning away from the harsh sunlight, I squinted up and him. "*Seven*? Are you *mad*?"  
  
A voice floated in from the doorway. "Rules of parenting, No 2: *Never* make promises to your offspring, whilst partaking in the act of consuming alcohol." She was grinning widely now. "Last night, you promised your son a breakfast Al fresco, a game of baseball, followed by a trip to the fairground in town."  
  
"And you didn't think to stop me?" I groaned, closing my eyes. "What's the first rule?"  
  
"*Never* make promises to the mother of your offspring, whilst partaking in the act of consuming alcohol. You *will* regret it."  
  
Laughing openly now, she came over and pulled back the duvet.  
  
"Come on Flyboy. A shower, a shave and a cup of the black stuff, and you'll be ready to greet the world."  
  
-------------------  
  
She was right, I did feel better after the coffee. Even the headache had dropped back to a quiet pulsing.  
  
By 8.30 we were on the then road and by 9.30, we were playing baseball. The sun was shining in a sapphire sky. The breeze was light and there was just me and Sara and Charlie. The day was perfect.  
  
-------------------  
  
Eventually, Charlie cut me some slack and let his old man take some time out.  
  
I was sprawled out under a tree, head on Sara's lap, thinking what a perfect life I had to go with this perfect day, when Charlie came running.  
  
"Dad, who are those people?"  
  
"Huh?" I grunted, turning my head in his direction.  
  
"Those people, coming across the field."  
  
I looked to where Charlie was pointing. The sun was in my eyes, but I saw two men and a woman heading toward us.  
  
"Dunno, Charlie. Maybe they're here for a picnic too." I suggested, noting the apprehensive look on his face.  
  
"Jack, they're wearing BDU's. I don't think they're here for a picnic." Sara added, clearly concerned too.  
  
I sat up and watched as the three approached us. Once they were within focusing distance, I practically leapt to my feet.  
  
There, walking toward me were the three people I'd been seeing in my dreams.  
  
I could see Daniel saying something but it was like a surreal dream, I couldn't make out his words. My mind was doing cartwheels. Before, I was sure I didn't know these people, but now they were in front of me, they seemed so damned familiar. Why were they here? What did they want?  
  
It was only when they were actually standing in front of me, I could hear what Daniel was saying.  
  
"Jack, we have to leave. We have to leave *now*."  
  
"Do I know you?" I asked. "Why would I want to leave?"  
  
"Jack, it's me. Daniel. Can you hear me?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Okay, Jack. Listen to me. We have to get you out of here. We have to leave. Can you hear me?"  
  
He took hold of my arm, trying to get me to move towards him. As he did so my shoulder suddenly went haywire, pain began shooting up and down my arm.  
  
"God dammit, get your hands off me!" I responded angrily, trying to shake myself out of his tight grip.  
  
He turned to Carter.  
  
"Sam, I don't think he can hear me. He looks completely out of it."  
  
"Of course I can *hear* you!" I roared. "Do you think I'm deaf?"  
  
"Jack?" Sara asked. "What's going on? Who are these people?"  
  
Jeez, what could I tell her? `These are the nice people from my nightmares. I know it looks like they're trying to kidnap me, but it's okay, I *think* I can trust them not to murder us.`  
  
"Dad?"  
  
Somewhere behind me Charlie was getting scared. I looked back over my shoulder to see Sara taking hold of him, pushing him behind her to keep him safe. I tried to take a couple of steps backwards, to get closer to them. I had no idea what these people wanted from me, but they weren't getting anywhere near my family.  
  
It was about then, that the little voice that had been with me for the last couple of days, began wailing like a banshee, making my head pound.  
  
`Listen to him, Jack. This is wrong. It's all been wrong. You have to trust Daniel, he's trying to help you. They aren't real. Charlie and Sara aren't real. Charlie's dead Jack. Remember? He shot himself. You have to try to remember. `  
  
I lifted a hand to my face and tried to scrub away the pain from behind my eyes. What was going on in my head? I was as confused as hell.  
  
Charlie couldn't be dead. He was here, beside me. Living, breathing and totally horrified.  
  
I tried to take another step closer to him, but as I did so my legs turned to jelly and I found myself crumpling to the floor.  
  
My shoulder was pulsing madly, my mind was reeling and that damned voice just would *not* shut up. Lying there, unable to even lift my head, I was overcome with images.  
  
Sara and me talking way into the night. Her telling me I had been sick and that everything was okay. Her and Arnise laughing at some silly woman's joke. Us having the do, do not, do argument.  
  
Then, Charlie lying next to me on the bed, sound asleep. He and Kawalsky horsing around in the backyard. Him crying when he overheard Sara and Mike. Us playing baseball together. Us pulling the covers over our heads, when we were told we had work to do.   
  
Then suddenly, the image moved.  
  
** Sara was sat in a hospital room, crying hysterically. She glared at me when I reached for her, trying to comfort her. There was venom in her words as she asked me, why hadn't I taken more care? I should have been more careful. I didn't understand, didn't know what I had done that was so wrong. I then noticed a bed nearby. Something was laid on that bed, covered with a sheet, and I knew I had to see what was there for myself. As I reached for it, my shoulder felt as if it was on fire. Ignoring the pain as best I could, I tore back the sheet to see my son's lifeless face.**  
  
****The sun was shining in a clear blue sky, I had got away from work early and had planned a surprise evening out, just me and Sara and Charlie. I was sat in my garden with the woman I loved, completely at peace with the world. ****  
  
Then I heard the gunshot.  
  
And somehow, I knew.  
  
I knew in my heart that the voice had been right, and that the last three wonderfully happy days were somehow, nothing more than my imagination.  
  
I closed my eyes, not trusting them not to cry. When I opened them again, I saw Teal'c leaning over me.  
  
"You have nothing to fear, O'Neill. It is just I, Teal'c. We must go through the stargate now. I fear your life may depend on it."  
  
As I felt myself being lifted, I managed to raise my head and look around. Sara and Charlie were gone.  
  
I had no idea what was happening to my body, but at that moment, my soul was completely shattered.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Colonel?"  
  
The voice sliced softly through the fog surrounding my brain.  
  
"Colonel, can you hear me?"  
  
I'd actually been awake a while, but had chosen to stay in the dark to give myself time to gather my thoughts - and memories. I just wasn't ready to face the throngs.  
  
I knew *something* had happened to me. That what I had seen had been a dream of some kind, but all I could see was Charlie's face, hear his voice. It had been so damned real, it was actually quite scary.  
  
Eventually I pulled up enough reserves and slowly opened my eyes to face my demons.  
  
The face with the kind smile slowly swam into focus.  
  
The Napoleon power monger.  
  
"Hey." She grinned, her delight at my waking was obvious. "How do you feel?"  
  
"Fine." I rasped.  
  
The smile dropped a little, as she picked up a cup from somewhere and offered me a straw. "Well Sir, I'm afraid you're not fine. Not by a long shot. Do you remember what happened?"  
  
I shook my head.  
  
"It's doesn't matter right now. Everything will come back, you just need some rest."  
  
Remembering that was what `Sara` had said, I closed my eyes against the memory.  
  
"I was going to let the others in to see you, but it's getting late." Doc carried on, still testing the waters. "Why don't I tell them to come back tomorrow?"  
  
I wasn't ready to face anyone. not even my team. I nodded once. Then carefully rolling onto my good side, I turned myself to the wall, once more losing myself in those damned false memories.  
  
----------------------------------  
  
The next time I woke, it was to the feel of a gentle hand testing for fever.  
  
I opened my eyes, mindful of the pain that still plagued my grey cells. Doc smiled apologetically.  
  
"I'm sure Sir, I didn't mean to wake you. How do you feel this morning?"  
  
"Peachy."  
  
She sighed heavily then asked: "Permission to speak freely, Sir?"  
  
"Knock yourself out, Captain." I invited, too weary to even *look* like I was interested.  
  
"Well, Sir. You have a hole in your shoulder big enough to drive Daniels Audi through. You have an alien hallucinogen using your blood stream as a subway and I'm too afraid to even *think* about the turmoil your mind is in."  
  
God dammit, that woman could hit a nickel, dead centre, from 60 yards.  
  
"I would hardly think of that as being `peachy`. She finished.  
  
Okay, so I wasn't fooling Fraiser. I didn't give a flying crap at that moment and she knew it.  
  
For a long moment, neither of us spoke. She fussed round her IV lines, pretending to be busy and I lay there brooding, as only an O'Neill can.  
  
Eventually, as she turned to walk away, I gave in.  
  
"I don't remember what happened." I said, inviting conversation.  
  
Turning back, she studied me for a moment, before finally pulling up one of her torture chairs and sitting down beside me.  
  
"You and your team gated out to PXJ 739. Once there, you sent Sam and Daniel off to collect samples, whilst you and Teal'c split up to scout around. From what the others have told me, you didn't return their radio messages. When they found you, you were snared in some sort of vegetation. They don't know how long you'd been caught up in it, but Sam tells me you were none responsive. When they tried to release you from the plant, it turned nasty. Its stems, arms, whatever you'd call them, lanced your shoulder, effectively pinning you to the ground. It took them a while to get the thing to give you up"  
  
When I didn't say anything she carried on.  
  
"From what I make out, the plant was carnivorous. My guess is, it feeds off the tissue of anything that is unfortunate enough to stumble across it. Pretty much like our Venus Flytraps, only *bigger*. Your blood work shows some kind of hallucinogenic substance. I assume this is used to still the prey by creating some sort of euphoria, making the kill easier. As you have no wounds, other than the shoulder, I think the substance must have been some sort of dust. I think it would have entered the bloodstream via your skin pores. The shoulder will be fine, given time and once your system gets up and running again, you'll feel good as new. You know, you were extremely lucky, Colonel."  
  
Lucky, huh?  
  
I could remember clearly, every small detail of that damned hallucination. Every laugh. Every smile. Every touch. Every word. Every God damned thing.  
  
I really believed I belonged there. I should have known better. That kind of happiness doesn't belong to me.  
  
"Yeah. Lucky Jack." I muttered, finally.  
  
I could practically feel the concern radiating from Doc. I knew she was worrying herself over me, she knew something was clawing at me. However, she's a smart lady. She knows she'll get her pound of flesh eventually, but for now, she knows me well enough not to push.  
  
Instead, she did what she was sure would help.  
  
She set my team loose on me.  
  
  
  
~~~end~~~ 


End file.
